Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
as a side note pls kill me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
