I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
