first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
