You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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