the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
