You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
