How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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