She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
