People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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