hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
