what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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