could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
