awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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