I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
