So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
A bitchslap is in order.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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