Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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