I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
