You made me cry and you don't even care
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
