Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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