Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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