I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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