I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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