barbara walters just said penis...
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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