at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
No stitches, just platelets and will power
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
