This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
