He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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