IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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