Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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