every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
