It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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