I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
