My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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