fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
