Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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