paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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