Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize
