its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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