When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
