yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
God I need to hump something, right now.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
