My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just found puke in my bra..
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
