Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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