id be glad to
we're chasing vodka with high fives
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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