There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
