I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
