she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
