did you get engaged???
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
