tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
