The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
