We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize