So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it's like heaven, but drunker
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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