I just saw a hot homeless man
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Threesome in a minivan. New low
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
