Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
