Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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